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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570064">Not his day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/waltraud/pseuds/waltraud'>waltraud</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Young Inspector Morse (Endeavour) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Endeavour (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chronic Illness, Epilepsy, Seizures, Sickfic, Sleep Deprivation, Whump, throwing up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:53:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/waltraud/pseuds/waltraud</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He had not have one in fourteen years.<br/>They said he had outgrown them.</p><p>So why would he have told anyone?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Young Inspector Morse (Endeavour) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1784299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not his day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <i>Again, the characters in fic are not invented by me. I'm only lending them for a little walk of fun. I do not earn any money this way. </i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I had this thought, when I woke up:<br/>Morse is quite calm and understanding, when he meets that young woman with epilepsy in the first season.<br/>So what, if he had some experience with the desease himself?</p><p>So I started writing and here, 4 hours later you may read the results.</p><p>I hope you enjoy it.<br/>Maybe leave a comment or some kudo to give me some feedback.</p><p>Love,<br/>Waltraud</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A little sluggish he got ready for work.<br/>
Washing himself down.<br/>
Combing his hair.<br/>
Searching for a clean shirt.<br/>
He mostly went with some plain toast as breakfast, but even that felt not very appealing to him today, feeling a tinge of nausea in the pit of his stomach.<br/>
Any other day, it would have been quite possible he was slightly hungover, but he hadn’t touched the bottles in his flat in more than two days, being caught up with their new case and wanting to keep his head clear.</p><p>A little girl had been abducted. No sign of blackmailing so far. No trace of the girl.<br/>
Probably dead, his colleagues were saying. </p><p>It felt so wrong.<br/>
Killing a grown-up was one thing … but a child.<br/>
With his thoughts still caught up in his dark musing, he pulled the car up in front of Thursday’s house.<br/>
Squeezing his burning eyes shut, he rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. There was a faint pounding in his head, reminding him he had not found more than four hours of sleep in the last two days.<br/>
Taking a few deep breaths, he slowly got out of the car.</p><p>Mrs. Thursday opened the door within seconds.<br/>
“Good morning, Morse. Fred will be there in a minute. Why don’t you come inside, while he gets ready, maybe have a cup of tea?”<br/>
“I don’t wish to be any trouble on you.”<br/>
She made a declining gesture with her hand.<br/>
“You are no trouble, my dear. The tea was already made and there is plenty of it.”<br/>
Some tea actually sounded nice and so without further protest he took a seat and thanked her, when she poured him a cup.<br/>
Joan and Sam soon joined him at the table, both greeting him, as if it was nothing special finding him there.<br/>
While Sam made himself busy with his breakfast, Joan was eyeing him from her seat.<br/>
“How are you doing, Morse?”<br/>
“Fine, thank you.”<br/>
She raised an eyebrow and turned to her brother.<br/>
“He’s looking a little peaky, don’t you think so?”<br/>
Sam lifted his gaze from his scrambled eggs, shrugging his shoulders.<br/>
Luckily Thursday choose that moment to come down the stairs. He hastily emptied his cup and said his goodbye, following his boss to the front door.</p><p> </p><p>- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</p><p> </p><p>The office was bursting with activity, when they arrived. Another search troop, a wild mix of officers and volunteers, had been formed to look for the child. They had assembled to get their last instructions before they spread throughout the city.<br/>
Morse was glad, when they finally left, as his headache grew worse by the minute.<br/>
Downing some Aspirin, he continued his research, looking through all the statements they had collected, searching for any inconsistency or pattern. </p><p>It was nearly noon, when Thursday stepped in the office.<br/>
“Morse, we need to go”, he told him with graveness in his voice.<br/>
“They found her?”<br/>
Thursday gave a small nod.<br/>
He inwardly cursed, while he collected his jacket. </p><p>They drove in silence. </p><p>It did not take them long to reach the riverbank.<br/>
Most of their team had already assembled.<br/>
Morse stopped the car next to DeBryn’s.<br/>
His feet heavy, he followed Thursday down to the waterline.<br/>
The pounding in his head, which had subsided a little during the morning, was back with vengeance.</p><p> </p><p>- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</p><p>Her body was small for her age.<br/>
Her red hair was wet and dirty.<br/>
Her little face still and pale.<br/>
Her blue eyes dull and wide open.</p><p>He felt his stomach churning. He focused on his breathing. In and out. In and out.<br/>
Thursday had knelt down besides DeBryn to get a better look.<br/>
The pathologist raised one of the girl’s arms. “Rigor mortis already fading.”<br/>
He slipped a finger underneath the high neck of her dress, revealing dark lines just beneath her jar.<br/>
“Here and here”, he pointed at the lines, “you can see the marks of some fingers. Of course you will have to wait for my formal inspection, but so far, I would say, she has been strangled.”</p><p>Morse felt bile rising in his throat. His vision becoming a little cloudy on the edged.<br/>
He swallowed.<br/>
He had to get away from here.</p><p>“I will wait by the car”, he mumbled.<br/>
He was not sure if Thursday had heard him, but he could not wait to find out.<br/>
Turning around he walked away, trying to walk in a straight line despite his unsteady steps.<br/>
If he would only reach the car and not again make a fool of himself!</p><p>He had to stop as his stomach gave a lurch.<br/>
Saliva flooded his mouth.<br/>
The winter sun hurt in his eyes.</p><p>He braced his hands on his knees as he retched, not bringing up anything at all.<br/>
“Morse!” Thursday called out only a few steps behind him.<br/>
There was a ringing in his ears, that grew more and more persisting.<br/>
He could not feel his feet anymore.<br/>
“Hey, easy lad.”<br/>
Thursday’s hand closed around his arm, steadying him, as he was shook by the next retch.<br/>
Bile burning his oesophagus and nose, as it shot from his mouth.<br/>
He shook his head in disgust and spat out, trying to get rid of the taste lingering in his mouth.</p><p>“You alright?”<br/>
Thursday’s distorted voice rang through his ears.<br/>
Beside the pounding in his head, there was something else.<br/>
A strange feeling, he could not quite catch.<br/>
Not the light-headedness he felt before fainting.<br/>
Something else.<br/>
Something that felt familiar.</p><p>
  <i> Not good.</i>
</p><p>There was a twitch in his right hand.</p><p>“Dont call enambulance”, he slurred.</p><p> </p><p>- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</p><p> </p><p>“I will wait by the car.”<br/>
Morse words ripped his focus from DeBryn’s explanations.<br/>
He looked up from his crouched position eyeing him carefully as the young man turned around and walked away on stiff legs.<br/>
He sighed. He’d thought, they had been over that point by now. But well, anyone was allowed to have a bad day now and then.<br/>
Deciding the dead girl would still be dead in a few minutes, he exchanged a quick glance with DeBryn before he rose to follow the boy.</p><p>He quickened his pace as he saw Morse’s steps getting more and more insecure.<br/>
He reached him, just as the young man stood still before leaning forward with a retch.<br/>
<i> Great. </i> Well at least he had made some good distance between himself and the corpse, by now.<br/>
“Morse!”<br/>
The next retch had him dangerously sway on his feet and Fred hurried to grab him by his arm, preventing him from falling.<br/>
There could not have been much in his stomach, as all he brought up were a few mouth full of bile.<br/>
He could feel the light tremors underneath his hand. With his free hand he was rubbing soothing circles on Morse’s back, trying to calm him down.<br/>
“You alright?”, he asked, as Morse one last time spat on the frozen ground.<br/>
There was a long moment of silence, as his protégé tried to process his question.</p><p>“Dont call enambulance.”<br/>
When he finally answered, his words were so slurred, Fred needed some seconds to understand what he’d said.<br/>
“Ambulance? Why would I… Morse!”<br/>
The boy made a strange noise, half a whimper, half a cry and jerked violently, nearly shaking of Fred’s grip.<br/>
With horror, Fred felt the young man’s body get rigid, nearly throwing him from his feet, as he fell backwards, eyes wide open, jaw tightly clenched.<br/>
“DeBryn!”, he called out, panic in his voice, as he tried his best to lower Morse to the ground without harming him.<br/>
No sooner than he had him on the ground, the boy started shaking. His arms and legs twitching, foam forming in the corners of his lips. His breath coming out in wheezing hitches.<br/>
DeBryn’s hurried steps stopped besides them.<br/>
“Here, put that under his head”, the doctor said, shedding from his coat, handing it to him.<br/>
Fred did as he was told, while DeBryn crouched down to have a better look.<br/>
“Did he hurt his head, when he fell?”<br/>
Fred frantically shook his head. “It started before he even touched the ground. He told me not to call an ambulance only seconds before.”<br/>
“So he is epileptic?”<br/>
“Not to my knowledge.”<br/>
The doctor took a second, then nodded, making a decision.<br/>
“Let’s give him another minute. If the seizure doesn’t not stop by then, we call for an ambulance.”</p><p>It was no more than 30 seconds before the tremors subsided. Still under a minute before Morse’s body went absolutely calm, his eyes falling shut.<br/>
Others from their team had joined them by now, but DeBryn sent them to stand away and give them some space.<br/>
“Help me turn him to his side”, the doctor said.<br/>
As they secured him in recovery position, Fred felt something damp underneath his fingers as he came in contact with Morse’s trousers.<br/>
“Not uncommon to loose control of the bladder, while seizing”, the doctor told him, his tone nothing than professional facts.<br/>
DeBryn lifted the boy’s eyelids, shining a penlight in his eyes, observing the reaction of the pupils.<br/>
He gave a content nod, than gently started tapping the lad’s cheeks trying to rouse him.<br/>
“Morse?!”<br/>
When that did not work, he pushed his knuckles in Morse’s sternum, provoking some groaning.<br/>
“Morse!” He used more pressure and the young man’s eyes flew open, as he tried to bat away the offending hand, his movements not quite coordinated.<br/>
“Morse! Can you hear me?”<br/>
The young officer slowly nodded, confusion written on his face.<br/>
“You were having a seizure, Morse”, DeBryn calmly explained. “Everything will be alright. Morse, I need to know if that happened before. Have you ever had a seizure before.”<br/>
A frown, then a nod.<br/>
“When was your last seizure?”, the doctor questioned him.<br/>
Morse slowly blinked, it seemed he had trouble collecting his thoughts.<br/>
“Fourteen years ago”, he finally croaked.<br/>
“Have you been drinking yesterday.”<br/>
“.. No...”<br/>
“Have you been taking any drugs or medication?”<br/>
“...No… Wait… took some Aspirin this morning.” He was getting more coherent by the minute.<br/>
“So you already had a headache”, DeBryn concluded. “Does your head still hurt?”<br/>
Morse thought about it. “Only a little. Didn’t sleep much.”<br/>
He swallowed and winced.<br/>
DeBryn turned towards Fred. “Sleep deprivation could be a trigger for his fit.”<br/>
Turning back to Morse he asked: “You want to go to the hospital for a check up?”<br/>
Morse shook his head.<br/>
“Think you can make it to the car?”<br/>
A pause.<br/>
“Maybe.”<br/>
Morse answer did not sound very reassuring in Fred’s ears, but DeBryn did not seem overly concerned by it.<br/>
“Help me sit him up, inspector”, he said.<br/>
Between the both of them they brought Morse to a more upright position. The officer briefly closed his eyes, swallowing convulsive.<br/>
“Are you going to be sick?”, Fred asked, ready to step aside any second.<br/>
Morse took some deep breath, then shook his head.<br/>
He winced a little.<br/>
“Something hurts?” The doctor asked him.<br/>
“I think I bit my tongue”, Morse slowly said.<br/>
DeBryn had him open his mouth to inspect the damage.<br/>
“Only a minor defect I’d say. Should be fine in a few days. Anything else?”<br/>
Another shake of his head.<br/>
“Okay, let’s get you out of here, before you freeze to death. On three. One, two, three.”<br/>
Fred and DeBryn hoisted him to his feet, both slinging one of his arms over their shoulders to keep him upright.<br/>
They waited for a few seconds for him to find his equilibrium, before they slowly started their journey towards the car.<br/>
“Strange! You are in charge, while I am gone!”, Fred bellowed over his shoulder. “Make sure, everything slightly suspicious gets photographed, collected and brought to the station. I will meet you there as soon as I can.”</p><p> </p><p>- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</p><p> </p><p>DeBryn and Thursday deposited him on the front seat.<br/>
His mind still was a little fuzzy. He felt so tired.<br/>
“Are you sure he does not need to go to the hospital?”, he heard Thursday ask.<br/>
“No I don’t think so. Just bring him home and let him sleep and give him a call later on to make sure he is alright.”<br/>
“The hell I will do. We’re having a nice, comfortable couch at home. Win will be there and will gladly have an eye on him until I return.”<br/>
With that, his boss took his seat behind the driving wheel and started the car.<br/>
“Thanks for your help, DeBryn.”<br/>
“Any time”, the pathologist answered.</p><p>Thursday waited until they had driven a few meters before speaking again.<br/>
“How are you doing?”<br/>
“Tired”, Morse answered.<br/>
“You tell me if you start to feel sick, so I can stop the car, alright.”<br/>
“Mhm.”<br/>
Against his will, his eyes soon fell shut, as they drove on.<br/>
He did not know, how long he had slept, when Thursday shook him by his shoulder.<br/>
Morse opened his eyes and looked around in confusion.<br/>
“That’s not where I live”, he said.<br/>
“No, that is where I live. You’ve won yourself some <i>Win-time</i> with that little stunt you have pulled back there.”<br/>
Any other day he would have protested to this, but now he was just to tired to argue with his boss.<br/>
The inspector moved around the car and opened his door, helping him up the front steps and inside the house.<br/>
“Win?!”<br/>
“Fred?”<br/>
Mrs. Thursday stepped from the kitchen, surprise showing on her face.<br/>
“What are you...” Then she seemed to have taken in Morse with his pale face and dishevel appearance. “Morse! What happened. Did he get hurt?”<br/>
“DeBryn says he just needs some rest. I will explain it to you in a second. Do you think you could go and find one of Sam’s pyjamas and a change of clothes for him, while I take him upstairs, so he can clean up a little.”<br/>
She nodded, and slowly Thursday led him up the stairs and into their bathroom.<br/>
“You think you can take a shower without my help?”, Thursday asked.<br/>
“Yes.” He would rather die, than have his boss help him undress and into the shower.<br/>
“I will be waiting outside. Call me if you need any help.”</p><p>His pants were damp and sticking to his legs when he got rid of them.<br/>
He knew it was not from lying on the ground alone.<br/>
Just his day.</p><p>He managed to take a quick shower and wrap himself in the towel, Thursday had left him, without bigger problems.<br/>
“Morse?” Thursday knocked on the door.<br/>
“Yes?”<br/>
“I have some clothes for you. May I come in?”<br/>
Morse made sure the towel was securely concealing his private parts, before he went to open the door.</p><p>He felt a little embarrassed as he changed into one of Sam’s pyjamas. But he still was glad, he would soon be able to rest.</p><p> </p><p>- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</p><p> </p><p>Thursday walked him down the stairs again, a hand around his elbow making sure he would not fall down, even so his movement were more fluently again.<br/>
He was led to the living room, where Mrs. Thursday had already prepared the couch for him with a sheet, a pillow and a blanket.<br/>
On a small table beside his head a big, steaming cup of tea was waiting for him.<br/>
He sat down and took a tentative sip, while Thursday moved one of the chairs to sit down beside him.<br/>
“You know, you could have told me”, the inspector started. “I would not have made it a fact in your file.”<br/>
Morse knew, he could trust his word.<br/>
“I did not think, it would ever matter”, he said, after taking another sip of his tea. “I was still a teenager, when it happened the last time. My doctors said I had outgrown these fits.”<br/>
“Hmm.”<br/>
None of them spoke for a while.<br/>
“DeBryn says, sleep deprivation may be the course of this. When was the last time you had a full night of sleep?”<br/>
Morse gave a shrug.<br/>
He could not quite remember.<br/>
He had not found much sleep in two days, and even the days before had not been very restful.</p><p>“I think that’s something we will have to work on”, Thursday said and stood up. “We will talk about it when I return. Have some rest. Win will be there if you need something.”</p><p>With that Thursday left him alone, keeping the door slightly ajar.<br/>
Morse laid down on the soft cushions.<br/>
He could hear the inspector’s and his wife’s soft whispers in the hallway.<br/>
His heavy eyelids were slowly closing on their own accord and he fell in a sleep, deeper and more restful than he had had in weeks.</p>
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